I'm useless & hopeless....Forget about me....

2009-06-05T04:17:00.001-07:00

Omg , duno how many days / weeks bo update le . Hahas .

Nowadays trying very hard to study , MYE get 4 F9 sial , dunno why so dumb .

Haiz , somebody jio me out play or wad leh , very sian .

Everyday stay at home do nothing , den also no mood to study .

wtf , I guess you can see me in NA next year , low chance possibility I will remain in Express .

Nvm , Only can go forward , cannot turn back . :D

So Might as well work hard and not ruin my future .

All the best to me .

2009-05-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

I just hope , things can remain the same as wad it was last time .

I really miss the old days when we play wif each other , although its onli been 5 mths since we noe each other .

But things totally changed , I duno wad i did wrong , maybe i did smth wrong to make u angry , but can u at least tell me ?

and it sounds so easy for u to tell me to join the conv , but actually , its very hard for me to join it .

Ppl may think i am an extra or a dog , trying to join in ur conv , I dun want to feel dis way .

I JUST FEEL LIKE AN EXTRA .

what have i done to deserve ... this ?

2009-05-15T03:43:00.000-07:00

Long time no post , decided to fuckin post today .

Nowadays , EVERYTHING changed , including me , frends , family , EVERYTHING .

I am starting to get all over-sensitive again , Frends also changed , family changed , I duno wad I fuckin do wrong , but bad things just keep happening to me .

When go out , everytime have the same problem of pangseh .

Maybe its just that I over-sensitive , but maybe its not ?

and family problems start to rush my way , money , care , all these .

I really don't know what made you act thsi way towards me .

We cleared this misunderstanding , but I think the problem is coming back .

Maybe is just that I am not fit to be ur frend ?

Or maybe I jus simply have too many bad points that might make you hate me .

I really don't know .

I really hope this could just stop . I am really afraid , really afraid .

I don't want to end up like that dog , I just want us to remain like wad we were last time .

Please ..

2009-05-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

WOOTS !

Today fuckin fun ! :D Just came back from Michelle's Birthday Party ! So fuckin fun sial :D

Haha , just bathed . hope my hair can grow back faster .

Morning wake up 10am++ den missed Doraemon . ==

Haiz , den used comp for a while , den went to bathe , den went to temple for Vesak Day de .

Den after that went to WestCoast Plaza , den eat eat den sibeh sian .

Den after that went home , den bathed again .

Bus-ed to DaoXian hse , den meeted KimKiong at the 7-11 there , den walked to DaoXian hse together .

Den DaoXian change clothes le , den went to Michelle hse , but den like see the girls very paiseh mah , den walked around lo .

Den after that later den we go up .

Den there slack slack , then went to play basketball , haha so fun .

Just found out how I suck at basketball now . ==

Den went to DaoXian hse again , to put basketball .

Went back to Michelle hse , den took photos .

Den later we did something really fun but naughty . :P

Den after that went to DaoXian hse downstairs the playground plae swing :D

Den after that took cab home .

-EN:D-

2009-05-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

Finally post ! Duno how many days nvr post le .Hahas lazy ==

Today the CheeBye Dog Razaak Sibeh Xialan , go pull my fringe den go cut when I off guard ,

Den still kpkb , ownself no hair den wan make me the same like him . But too bad , I am not a dog like you , Ccb , Wish car bang you and you fly off a cliff and ur organs splatter out man !

Go n Die la hor , Ccb . __

Haiz , dun talk bout it anymore le , say more make me more pek cek .

Den after that , went to eat Prata , Den went to DaoXian hse .

Today someone guailan him , shall not mention , but you cheebye , you noe how many chances we gave you ? And yet you still fkin guailan him , Go n die dog , share the same fate as Razaak !

Fuck .

Shld had helped him guailan back , but cnt bring myself to do it . I'm so useless ! ARGH !

Den after that , at DaoXian hse watch OngBak ! Woots ! Muay Thai rocks !

Haha .

Den after that bus-ed home .

Den evening went to cut hair , coz like infront straight cut , chee bye Razaak !

After the cut , went wif WinHtut go slack , den did something bad . Haiz ..

Den lost my hand band ! But managed to find it back as WinHtut found it ,

THX WINHTUT !

After that went back home , den post lo .

-END OF CRAP-

And to Mr Razaak : Dun think you fuckin no hair den make me suffer same fate as you la hor ,

Ccb , hope you fuck a dog and die , and hope the dog bite off ur fuckin brown penis ! CCB ! FUCK OFF BASTARD !

2009-05-04T05:30:00.000-07:00

Today at class , nvr even guailan Mr Shiv den he come guailan us .

That black chee bye really very baised sial , so guailan somemore , Den after that he bring us go general office outside write 1000 word reflection , den I keep repeat the sentence :P

Den after school went to Chinese Garden to fish , on the way there saw this lizard ==

Den at first call very less ppl go de , den in the end alot of ppl come , den nvm , the more the merrier bah ! :D

Den later walked back home .

-END of CRAP-

2009-05-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

2 Cousins Digging for worms . :P

Opps , dunno how many days nvr post le , Hahas . Comp spoiled mah , Den just fixed it yesterday , So cnt blame me uh . :D

Today had a very Sian feeling when wake up , But was High-ed a little after watching Doraemon . :D

Den Ltr , GunBound-ed wif DaoXiang , Den chatted wif DaoXian on msn . LOL .

Den after that DaoXian jio me go 466 , Finally not so sian anymore == .

Den after that played basketball awhile , den just realised how I suck at it after so many months nvr go train wif Hubert le .

Den went to Chinese Garden go Fish :D

On the way there , got one big area wif a lot of grass , Den got hole de , den my shoe keep stuck in the hole . Walk one step , Leg go inside hole one time . Haha .

Den went to Fish , was quite sian there :X , coz I nvr fish , dats why .

Den ltr I over there emo .

Ltr on , the prawn no more le , den me DaoXian and DaoXiang go dig for Earthworm . So ErXing Sial , is like so slipper den so soft .Eww . ==

Den After that ,walked home .

-End-

2009-04-30T02:44:00.000-07:00

Haiz , today chinese compo very difficult x.x

Den duno how write den anyhow write .

Haha , after school went wif DaoXian , KimKiong and Dom went to walk to Mama Shop there .

But then nvr sell the vege instant noodle , so we go take bus to Pioneer Mall there .

Woah , so cold lo , then like freezing on the bus .

Den DaoXian shoe got hole ! -.-

Den we went to the Pioneer Mall to eat breakfast at Mc Donald .

Den after that , went to KimKiong hse take the Table Tennis racket , den went to the void deck play .

Sibeh Fun sial , played for like from 11pm to 3pm , den went home .

Den saw Vivian at the Jurong east Bus stop .

-End-

2009-04-28T02:38:00.000-07:00

Today was quite a good day .

Recess smth happened , shall not mention to avoid rumours .

Den at lessons kept listening . So guai rite ?

Den JunHao and GeneHeng tio influenced by us :P

Den slacked at 466 , den went home .

-End-

2009-04-27T04:11:00.000-07:00

Cb sial .

Good mood changed to bad mood bcos of some malay dogs in my sch .

Sibeh xialan .

Last time at the sports day , when I walking past them den dey giv Cb bin den shout : HAHAHAHA !

Den when I look at them den he gimmi the Cb bin again .

Den sua , then got one time , at recess also keep look at me den giv Cb bin again .

Den sua .

Third time , is today , that chee bye , I rilli cnt tolerate liao .

Today actually very happy one , coz saw JingWen ! :D

But den the motherfucker dog , went up to staircase there , den when I walk down ,

Den he say : EHEH ! gangster leh . sapalad ah ! Eh neh , eh neh ! * kissing sound *

Den i fkin look up , den he say : see wad see , see some more I spit saliva at you ah !

Den his frend laugh laugh laugh .

Den i sibeh dulan den walk away .

Haiz , too useless le .....

Chee bye sial , also nvr do anything to them den so xialan den keep kpkb .

Fker dog .

Den after sch went to celebrate father bdae , go eat buffet .

Den ltr on , my mother keep say she want to noe who I mix wif . Den keep say if I dun take their photo den I cnt go 466 le .

Den she keep kpkb , den say if she dun gimi the photo will go spy on me .

CB , wad frend I mix wif u huanlo . Rilli no freedon sial , also no personal space .

Den when I using comp halfway , she jus come in room without knocking door den see wad I doing .

Den when i talk to zhabor , den she will kpkb say dun have underage sex wif girls , den say wad concentrate on studies den dun have stead or wad .

KNN , rili cnt take it liao la , chee bye .

Wad I do she huanlo lah . Cb .

Den ltr , the fuckin imeem.com . the song onli plae the chorus there , nvr plae full song .

SIBEH DULAN LA !! pua bye ...

2009-04-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

Woke up .

Watched Doraemon .

Watched TV till 1pm .

Accompanied DaoXian go cut hair den went to his house .

Had alot of fun there .

Den ltr bus-ed back home .

Today will just be a short post . Bye .

-End-

2009-04-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 8am today ,

slept well last night wif air-con . :D

den watch tv , den went down to buy breakfast .

Watched Doraemon , den used comp till 12pm .

Ate lunch , den went to jurong bus interchange to meet DaoXiang and friends to IMM .

Went there walk around see chiobu :P

Den wait bus that time saw Ice , den ltr took bus den went to 466 .

Played basketball , den go cut hair .

Took bus and acompanied DaoXian and KimKiong home .

Was quite fun today . :D

Shld just end the post here .

-End-

2009-04-24T03:58:00.000-07:00

Today woke up at 6.50am , tot I was gonna be fuckin late ,

But in the end still got time to comb hair and idle in sch for a while .

Den took the mid-year chinese compo , was quite difficlut .

Den at recess , walk around search chiobu , and walked past JingWen , woohoo ! :DDD

Den after recess was chinese paper 2 , den the Dom keep push the chair , den made a loud shrieking noise , den keep make teacher annoyed :)

Den the chinese paper 2 is fuckin difficult , kept sweating .

Haiz , duno if will pass anot , maybe will fail bah , so scared to drop to Normal Acad .

I guess Term 3 nid to work hard le , or else ltr really drop to NA den jialat . :(

After sch , bus-ed back home wif Gene Heng , den met JingZhi .

He keep telling me how he get bullied by malay ppl .

I rilli pity him , he is just a boy who wants to study , but the malay ppl keep bully him .

How I wish I could help him , but I can't even help myself , much more help him .

Seriously thinking and starring at the ceiling every night , thinking of how to make myself useful and protect my friends and sister .

Seriously ,

WHY AM I SO USELESS ?!

2009-04-23T07:41:00.001-07:00

Feeling both useless and helpless now ,

tio bully , also my fault , cannot even fight back .

Through out my 13 years of life , I have nvr done anything succesful or even do anything to help myself .

Everytime get bullied , I would not fight back , no , COULD not fight back .

I wouldn't dare to offend ppl but if I dun help myself , who would ?

I can't even protect my sister and my loved friends in the current state I'm in .

I cannot give myself protection , much more to say defend and help my friends and sister .

I really wish I could upgrade myself .

At least to know how to protect myself , sister and loved friends .

Many would say me a humji after reading my post .

But in fact ,

I really am one .

I wish , I could learn how to fight , in this way , at least I can protect my sister , and my loved friends .

I really wish I could get rid of my fear , so my sister would at least have a brother to reply on .

And my friends would have a friend to help them .

I've let myself down .

All because ,

I COULD NOT FIGHT BACK .

2009-04-23T02:40:00.000-07:00

Haiz ,

woke up , started my daily routine again ,

wait for DX and KK den went to school together , den saw DaoXiang and co .

Den went to ISH den sing Majula .

Went back to class and felt very sleepy .

Den at home econ teacher pek cek den send us to see principal . WTF ?!

She da bai wan find me problem one sial , onli dis time nvr bring the apron nia , nid see principal mah ?! Fuckin pu bor .

Den still keep act act ur son very good , chee bye ..

Den at chinese lesson whole class listened ! HOORAY ! :D

Den at bio science , guailan Mr Goh , den play catching wif him . Haha NEH NEH POO POO ! :P

Den caught us . GG :(

Den Mr Ting helped us out so we wun get to see Mr Dilligan .

Den ltr tot problem solved liao , den suddenly Mr.Shiv come .

Den find us problem coz we nvr write the 500 word reflection .

Cb sial . Den ltr 2 teacher gang up to scold scold .

Den slack at 466 for awhile den accompany KimKiong go eat .

Den bus-ed back home .

.End.

2009-04-22T05:17:00.000-07:00

Sibeh dulan ,

Jus got fuckin scolded by my mother .

Say wad exam coming go write fuckin bitch compo for her , damn fuck .

Den say wad is dis time exam marks not good den will ban me from going out .

Damn stress now .

Shall talk about wad happen today ,

Morning , thought DaoXian was still on the bus , but turned out he is alrdy at hall -.-

Den went up to hall see the SC get certificate all dis .

Den went to class .

Chinese lesson the whole class listen , woots !

Den at Mr Shoon class we keep li siao him , damn fun during that period . :DDD

Den after that , History period played psp , den followed by digital art at comp lab .

At math class , My dear Ms Lee nvr come :( wanted to see wad she wore to sch today .

Den me , DaoXian , Dom keep li siao the Mr Shiv , den he tell us all stay back write compo of 500 words , den we jsut write lo ...... FAKE !!

Who would be that stupid to write ?

Haha , we jus ran away . :)

Den accompanied DaoXian to the FuHua there , den bid farewell to DaoXian le .

Bus-ed back home .

-End-

2009-04-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

Today pon-ed assembly wif DaoXian and KimKiong :)

At morning I waiting for them at bus stop , den they late liao , den 3 of us late .

Den we decided to eat breakfast .

After breakfast , went back to sch , and it was abt 8.30 am le .

Den actually if late den will tio detention mah , den the secuirity guard uncle very good ,

he let us run away den help us say reason for being late .

Good rite ? Haha :D

Den went to 4th floor toitlet , dere saw DaoXiang and ZhiAn .

Den chatted for a while den went back to class .

Den the whole day play play play :D

Den after sch went to Mama-Shop there eat , den went to 466 slack awhile .

Den dey went to NamDai there , den I bus-ed back home .

-End-

2009-04-20T04:58:00.000-07:00

I'm finally freee ! ;DD

Not feeling so stressed now, yay ~

LOL today was a super fun day ,

Firstly , after assemble , den the Mdm Chong wan come guailan me again , say my socks too low or wad , den I its like , so many ppl wif ankle socks ,

But she just had to pick on me .

Den I just guailan her den walk away .

Cb sial , all the ppl around me got ankle socks , den I onli I tio . fuck .

At Mr Shiv physic class , DaoXian me and Dom guailan him ,

den he send us out of the class . :)

Den we squatting outside , den DaoXiang and co. walked past us .

Den later on , went bell ring , we just walk inside class without Mr Shiv permission .

Den he there shout shout , den we pek cek den just go recess .

Den at maths , DaoXian sibeh gaoxiao sial , the Mr Shiv say : its not funny okay DaoXian ?

Den DaoXian reply : Ya i noe , i am not laughing ! :)

Haha , den ltr Mr Shiv look at him , den DaoXian giv him one sibeh funny face . Haha :D

Den ltr I taking the penknife den cutting the ant mah , den he beside me , den I duno he beside me den I continue , den ltr he kpkb den me , den he say :

" Can you 3 get out of the class ?"

Den ltr outside liao , den DaoXian tot Mr Shiv go in class le , den he say loudly :

" Nvr say please ah ? Ah ?"

Den Mr Shiv hear , den pek cek den walk inside the room , HAHAS !

Den after that , At Mr Ting lesson , Mr Ting so pek cek :( Sadded .

Den after sch , we went to eat cup noodle den go DaoXian house see him plae GunZ .

Zaii kia uh , Xian :DD

Den ltr on plae plae , den 6pm go home .

Den on bus , saw Zuyu , haha long time no see ! :D

Den chatted wif her until I alighted off the bus :)

Haha , today such a wondeful day , wish everyday would be as happy as today was :D

2009-04-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

Muahahaha , :DDD

Today woke up at 9.30am sharp , the Doraemon song woke me up .

Yay ! Neh miss the episode :)

Den watch the tv until 1pm , den eat my mum wondeful cooking :)

Den WeiHao called to jio me go Lan , but in the end nvr go , coz nid help my mother download songs to her hp -.-

Den Dylan came to the rescue !

Den after that , download finish liao go library .

Den at there , got one group of "paikia" , jiatao " scared " dao . -.-

Step paikia nia , who also can , talk phone so loud , eh come on , dis is library u brainless pussy .

Still keep on diao Dylan , fuck .

After that , went to the dessert shop , go eat the almond and ginko nut paste ! Sibeh nice sial .

Den ltr walk walk , accompanied Dylan go cut hair , den walked home alone .

Den ltr after dinner , come update blog lo .

Den at msn , someone said smth very encouraging to me , which also made me trust our friendshop more .

Shall just end here . Byes ~

2009-04-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

When I feel sad , will anyone even bother to care ?

When I fall , will anyone help me up ?

When I need help , will anyone help me ?

When I suffer , will anyone willing to share the burden with me ?

IS THERE ANYONE IN THIS WORLD THAT CAN REALLY CARE FOR ME ?

The answer is ,

Sadly ,

NO .

HOW I WISH , SERIOSULY HOW I WISH , I WILL HAVE A FRIEND TO RELY ON .

PARENTS scold me ,

TEACHERS scold me ,

FRIENDS insult me ,

PEOPLE look down one me ,

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS ?

DID I OWE YOU ALL THIS IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE ?

I feel so pathetic and helpless .

I don't want hypocrites , what I really need is someone to care for me .

Is that too much to ask for ?

Whatever I do is not good ,

even if it's good ,

It's still not good enough ..

I know I am just a sore in all of your eyes ,

I know I am just a good-for-nothing ,

But ,

You think ..... I want this ?

2009-04-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

HAIZ ,

Today woke up , missed an episode of Doraemon .

Den afternoon , went to Jurong Point wif DaoXian , CheeYing and WeiHao ,

Sad sial , KimKiong neh go , den he missed out all the Chiobus .

Den ltr on when to arcade for a while , den pei DaoXian go his hse take specs , den DaoXian noe how to play table tennis ! Omg , i didnt noe .

Den at there watch Fast and Furios 4 , sibeh lot chiobu sial , thats why I went to watch it for the second time :D

Den after that , bus-ed back home .

Today quite a short post , shall end it now .

-end-

2009-04-17T01:23:00.000-07:00

:DDD

I'm so happy today , duno why but wake up den got this happy feeling le :D

But then go sch dat time quite shag , coz see the Mdm Chong face den i dulan liao .

Den at recess keep looking at Chiobu , den keep tio ignored .

Art Lesson that time sibeh dulan . Shall not mention why . Also duno is I over-sensitive or wad got feeling that they Hate me

Den at 466 , went to accompany CheeYing to cut hair and then there slack slack .

We were once a trio , best of friends ,

but because of some quarrels , now you and him has become the best of friends , leaving me behind .

If i did something wrong , i said sorry , but I duno if u would forgive me and treat it as nothing Happen and still continue our friendship .

But you you did not , I cared as a friend would , and would lend a helping hand if u needed it . I justdun understand why u hate me that much .

I did nothing wrong , but in the end our friendship broke .

Maybe i am just not fit to be ur frend or wad ? I rilli duno .

Someone pls tell me an answer why . And i tried so hard to be a good friend ...

And then went to basketball court there see them plae , den i bus-ed back home le lo .

Shld just end my crappy post here .

2009-04-16T03:05:00.000-07:00

Today was such a long day ,

And I am still somewhat dissapointed wif myself :(

Today woke up at 5am , to meet DaoXiang , Daoxian and KimKiong at Huayi bus stop , coz today sports day mah .

Den bused there , ate mc donalds , and went to the stadium .

At there , me and KimKiong keep search for Chiobus , and managed to find alot !

Den after that went to the clementi sports hall and see school teams play basketball , wow they all zai kia lo .

Den go eat mc donalds , again .

Went to a void deck to slack , den DaoXian fell down and sprained his leg :(

Den we bused back to HuaYi there , den on bus , we keep laughing at DaoXiang coz he keep pull KimKiong hair , haha was quite funny back there :)

Den Daoxian accompanied me to cut hair . Ltr on , when to 466 and they celebrated DaoXian's birthday , and bought a cake too.

They used the cake to rub on DaoXian's face , haha so cute ~

Den A little while ltr i bused back home .

-END-

2009-04-15T04:19:00.001-07:00

I am so dissapointed wif who I am now ,

I am just a good for nothing dat jus always qurrel wif friends ,

even between best of friends we quarrel ,

I really duno wads happening to me ,

All of a sudden I feel so useless , and helpless ,

Maybe their right , I am jus a good-for-nothing that likes to interrupt lessons in class ,

All of the teachers that teaches me are just biased against me ,

U THINK I WAN TO BE SCOLDED ?!

Who would wan the teacher to be biased against you and get scolded , EVERYDAY

Who would wan to quarrel wif your good frends ?

Teacher scold me , parents scold me

Is there anyone out there that would care for me ?

I am utterly fed-up , and sad...

And I feel like everybody hates me , and is putting on an act to be my frend ,

I duno if I am over-sensitive or I shld just accept the fact that all my frends find me irritating .

Argh ! I am so vexed now !

2009-04-14T02:22:00.000-07:00

KNN , today sibeh dulan

First wake up , very shag , den dun feel like going sch

coz everytime go sch see the fker mdm chong face den make me dulan liao .

Den ltr reach sch that time , after sing the Majula ,

Den Daoxian say wan help me " Suan Ming " den he go take my hand den say i will live until when liddat , den after a while , when i got bored , he go take my hand put on a girl's back !

Den i was like , WTF ?! Den everybody laughed ........INCLUDING ME :D

Shall not mention the girl's name . or else ltr she'll cry :)
Den after sch , accompanied Daoxian and Dominic go front gate de Mama shop there try out the vegetarian maggi mee , very nice sial , but no meat :(
Den after that , when going to 466 dat time , got 2 "paikia" walking towards us mah , den i give way to them ,den he go purposely bang me , cb sial , i also nvr do anything den bang , __
den after that pek cek alrdy , den walk walk , den got some malay ppl purposely in front of me den play their fkin soccer ball , chee bye , purposely in front of me sial , fk
Haiz , feeling so hopeless ......

Dne at 466 , play play , DaoXiang keep dancing to the music rythm , sibeh gao xiao sial
Haha , shall now end this boring post now .

What a fkin day ~

2009-04-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

Wahahahas , Today is my second post .

Today is damn sian ,

BUT , i am glad that i finally know how to play dota. :D

I had been learning for so long .

Finally . :D

Wahahahahahahas .

Nowadays is so so so boringg .

School life sucks to the core ,

I dont know why , But i hate hua yi teachers . :D

Espercially home econs .

OMG ! Eh , to dao xian and dominic ,

PLS ! remember to hand in the $40 to art teacher tomorrow .

If not he count interest ,

You all have to pay $80 le .

Wahahahas , Good fake right ?

In class was fun , KEEP FAKING ,

In the end , I got owned by dao xian and dominic ,

But , who cares , i am already at beyond godlike .

No worry , I have 3 vanguards and 2 battle fury with me . :D

Wahahahahas .

I am just being childish .

Should end here . :D

SAONARA ! :D

2009-04-12T04:05:00.001-07:00

Hellos all , Just created a new blog ,

Hope you all liked it . :D

Hmm , basically ,

Today was boring ,

2pm , went to 466 to find dao xian can co.

Than they went fishing there ,

xia suay sial , one fish also never catch ,

Than went back home ,

Dao xian keep guai lan dao xiang ,

Haish , so funny . :D

Dont want post le , Bye bye . :D